Chasing Freedom
I spent much of my life chasing freedom. Growing up, I chased the freedom of escaping my family’s roots in San Francisco Chinatown and living a richer life. I felt so proud when I graduated from MIT and landed my first engineering job at Google — they were my golden
Men's Circles and Learning to Feel Our Emotions
We're sitting cross-legged in a circle on the wooden floor — a dozen men in total — as we each share a check-in on how we're all feeling. We'd gathered for three days at an ecolodge in Bali to take a deep dive into what it means to embody the healthy masculine.
How Your Feelings, Not Your Thoughts, Create the Freedom You Want
“What's the cage that you're breaking people free from?” Jonny asked. I closed my eyes. The question had unexpectedly touched a chord in my heart. Before I could open my mouth to even respond, I already found tears streaming down my face. It was my turn to be in the
Build Your Tension Muscle and Create the Success You Want in Life
Several years ago, I committed to a daily Uncomfortable Conversation challenge. At the time, I was working with an amazing coach on taking up more space in conversations. I'd been struggling with telling engaging stories, with interrupting when I had something to add, and with being more vulnerable about my
5 Lessons Nomadic Travel Taught Me About How to Spend My Energy
One year ago, my wife Candace and I started traveling the world as nomads, with just a carry-on and a small backpack each. It'd been both a dream and fear of mine for a while. I dreamt of the freedom — an opportunity of a lifetime to create an epic adventure
Coming Home to My Roots: A Journey in Loving the Parts of Me I'd Once Rejected
For a long time, I rejected my roots. I come from a family of immigrants. 23andMe says I’m 99% Chinese — the last 1% could be anything. My family owns the longest-running Chinese medicine and herb store in San Francisco Chinatown. It turns 50 this year. When I was young,
Letting The Gift of Presence Be Enough
Last Wednesday evening, I witnessed my grandma Ma Ma, 95, take her last breath. A dozen of us — my family and my aunts, uncles, and cousins — gathered around her bedside at my parents’ house, feeling the heavy solemness in our shared silence. Amidst the sadness, I knew I was lucky
What 350+ Conversations in Uber and Lyft Rides Taught Me About Intimacy
For two years, I played a game to practice the art and science of human connection in every Lyft or Uber ride I took — 350+ rides in total. Every ride, I'd hop into the front seat and make it my goal to get into as deep of a life conversation
I'm Quitting Engineering and Taking My Next Big Leap
The conversation that would change the trajectory of my life's work happened just before the pandemic hit. My dear friend Elenna and I were celebrating at E&O Kitchen and Bar in downtown San Francisco — we had just finished running a workshop for leaders in tech on reprogramming beliefs. That's
How Kilimanjaro Dared Me to Dream Bigger
At 18,000 feet, the nausea and loss of appetite starting kicking in, compounding the dreaded headache that I was already feeling. My body felt perennially out of breath with every small step. At that altitude, the oxygen levels had dropped to 50% of what was available at sea level,
